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Hello goodbye

I debated whether to make this entry for friends only or not, and decided just to put it behind a lj cut tag instead. Please rest assured that my feelings will not be hurt if you don't want to read this post, which is a little bit of catharsis for me anyway.

Today is my sister's birthday. I haven't mentioned much about her here, and that's been intended because it's a long story. My sister is, for lack of any other words, "poor white trash." She obviously was not raised that way, and I'd like to think that I’m the proof of that. Pre-puberty, she was a smart, basically innocent girl. She stuck out like a sore thumb, however, because she was practically an albino. What I mean is that she was very fair skinned, had practically white hair, but blue eyes. We lived in Rialto, CA. I know no one knows where that is, but I’ll stereotype it for you. It’s a primarily Hispanic town in San Bernardino County.

Needless to say, puberty hit and the Hispanic boys found her horribly cute. Her grades started falling as the number of boyfriends increased. This put her in direct conflict with my parents, but especially with my father who has the same, argumentative personality as my sister. In other words, World War III was regularly erupting around the house. It was literally so bad that my parents almost got a divorce because of her. I’m not exaggerating on that last statement -- my parents have confirmed this as I got older.

Let’s fast-forward a bit to when my sister was 17. She was trusted with a car that my parents paid for, and she was working at the local super market. She decided not to come home one night. My parents called the cops, who were out looking for her. She finally showed up at 3:30 am, to be met with very pissed off parents. After a rather long shouting match conversation, my father ended up kicking my sister out of the house.

Much of what I know of this time is in retrospect, but my sister started smoking at this time, even though she has asthma. I also suspect that she might have used some drugs during this time frame. There were also significant numbers of boys involved in her life at this point in life. Shortly thereafter, she finally seems to settle down with one man, with whom she later got pregnant. For a while, all was really great in the world. Both had steady jobs, and my nephew was growing up as a good kid.

Then my sister decided to not come home again one night. After frantic phone calls to my parents and all other friends, she was found in the bed of an 18 year old. Somehow, my sister and brother in law reconciled, though how or why is still a shock for me. I think quite a bit of it was because of my nephew. Well, on and off for the last four years, my sister kept going back to this same young boy. She has said that it was because she felt too confined. She felt that things were being controlled in her life by actually having to pay attention to her husband. Each time, calls went out to everyone, including my parents. This tore my mom up. Every time, my brother in law would accept her back for my nephew’s good. Each time she came back, she said she’s changed...

The last time was truly the last time, as my sister told my brother in law that she didn’t want to deal with him or her son any more. She totally, completely abandoned them with no recourse or remorse. She moved in with the boy toy and wanted to have nothing to do with her own son. This proved unrealistic because there was no way to get my nephew to school while my brother in law was working. So my sister would drive from Long Beach to Riverside, about 40 miles, every morning to take my nephew to school. My brother in law finalized the divorce. And through this, my nephew wanted nothing to do with his mother. Who could blame him?

There are many gory details that I’m leaving out, quite intentionally. But my sister has not grown up. She stopped all contact with my parents and I. She lies consistently. She cannot be trusted. Some things changed recently -- she has taken in ill health, and claims she has grown up. She is now with a person that doesn’t need to be carded, as my brother in law puts it. She is aware that Jen and I are engaged, though we have not spoken for three years now. She has trying to reestablish contact with my parents, which is very convenient considering her birthday and the holidays were around the corner. Again, there is a lot I’m not telling and doesn’t translate well to text. But today is her 34th birthday.

So to my sister, wherever you are... go to hell.

Good night all.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 2nd, 2002 09:25 am (UTC)

Thank you for sharing that with us.
Nov. 2nd, 2002 03:32 pm (UTC)
Bleh . . .
Sorry to hear about that. I don't what causes some people to make such poor decisions. I've got an uncle that decided to be "in again, out again" family wise for quite a while, which is too bad, because it's his loss. Perhaps someday your sister will come to grips--but not with you, evidentally.

BTW, not only do I know where Rialto is, I've been through it many times on I-10 and MetroLink. SW San Bernardino Co., next door to Fontana and SB. Every time I go to visit my relatives in Redlands/Yuciapa, I drive through, unless I take the desert route throug Palmdale, Mojave, etc. Now, if only SCRRA would hurry up with that Redlands extention of the SB Line. Ugh.
Nov. 5th, 2002 09:09 pm (UTC)
I thought I heard that the extension to the San Bernardino Line was on permanent hold due to budgetary restraints, as well right of use. Do you know who owns the access rights for that stretch of track?

In other news, the light rail from Ontario to Anaheim sounds like it's on track (pun intended), as well as the Stateline to Las Vegas. Eventually, the plan is to connect light rail from Las Vegas to Anaheim with stops in Ontario, Victorville, Barstow, and stateline. If it happens in my lifetime, it'll be cool.
Nov. 5th, 2002 09:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Metrolink
Well, it certainly is on hold now, as Prop. 51 (Transportation Bond) is going down in flames. I'm not sure who owns that track; my best guess is AT&SF . . . I think that's it.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )