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Before I lose this

THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN NETWORK TV SHOW

CAST
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show
Each time that we walk into this august and famous studio
We're starting out from scratch after a run of twenty years and so
We hope that you don't mind that our producer was caught doing blow

CHORUS
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing blow
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing blow
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing mounds of blow

CAST
Yes, it's hard to be a player when at heart you've always had a hunch
To bite the hand that feeds you is a scary way of doing lunch
But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

CHORUS
But still when they walk into this august and famous studio
They'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

HARRIET
I am a Christian tried and true, baptized at age eleven
So unlike the lib'rals, gays and jews i'm going straight to heaven

JEANNIE
But if you feel you've been cheated and our sordid content lets you down

JEANNIE / HARRIET
We'll hap'ly do the favor of an intellectual reach-around

CHORUS
They'll hap'ly do the favor of an intellectual reach-around
They'll hap'ly do the favor of an intellectual reach-around
They'll hap'ly do the favor of hundred-dollar hooker's reach-around
They'll hap'ly do the favor of a verbal euphemistic reach-around

CAST
We know the evangelicals are lining up to tag our toe
And then the corporations will not hesitate to pull their dough
But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

CHORUS AND CAST
But still when they/ we walk into this august and famous studio
They'll/ we'll be the very model of a modern network TV show
But still when they/ we walk into this august and famous studio
They'll/ we'll be the very model of a modern network TV show

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
drbear
Sep. 6th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Done before, from Animaniacs:

I Am The Very Model Of A Cartoon Individual
Yakko:
I am the very model of a cartoon individual
My animation's comical, unusual, and whimsical
I'm quite adept at funny gags, comedic theory I have read
From wicked puns, and stupid jokes, to anvils that drop on your head

I'm very good at fancy dances, I can even pirouette
Then smack the villain with a fish; I know my cartoon etiquette
I can make my face all mean and really give you quite a fright
Then make up with flowers made of real exploding dynamite

When in a jam, I just yell "stop" and villians in their tracks are froze
Then I sneak up, and utter "start" and take my hands and honk their nose
I am quite proud to be in such a hierarchial progeny
From Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird to Babs and Buster Bunny

To suit my mood I can call forth a lot of different sceneries
Like outer space and desert scapes and Himalayan eateries
From this bag here why I can pull most anything imaginable
Like office desks and lava lights and Bert who is a cannibal
Yakko,Wakko and Dot:
You see in matters comical, unusual, and whimsical
We are the very model of cartoon individuals!

lambertman
Sep. 6th, 2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
More to the point, done before by SNL:

Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen.. David Hyde Pierce!

[ David Hyde Pierce enters Home Base dressed somewhat uncomfortably as the very model of a modern major general ]

David Hyde Pierce: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. [ turns to the band ] Maestro!

[ begins to dance in frumpy moves from the Gilbert & Sullivan opera ]

David Hyde Pierce: [ singing ]
"Oh, David Hyde Pierce is my name, it's great to be here in New York
I'm on Kelsey Grammer's show, I play his brother, who's a dork.
I'm hosting Saturday Night Live, I'm nervous, I've got shaky knees
I love the show, although I haven't watched it since the seventies."

[ four soldiers from the general's army come out to repeat the last two lines in song ]

Soldiers: [ singing ]
"He's hosting Saturday Night Live, he's nervous, he's got shaky knees
He loves the show, although he hasn't watched it since the seventies."

[ soldiers exit ]

David Hyde Pierce: [ singing ]
"I love Kelsey like a brother, even though he is my boss
I was just deslighted when he won the Emmy and I lost.
Oh, Kelsey is our show's big star, I'm number two, that's only fair
'Cause he deserves it, even though I'm young and thin and have more hair."

[ four soldiers from the general's army return to repeat the last two lines in song ]

Soldiers: [ singing ]
"Kelsey is the show's big star, he's number two, that's only fair
'Cause he deserves it, even though he's young and thin and has more hair."

[ soldiers exit ]

David Hyde Pierce: [ singing ]
"They made me come and stand out here in a costume that doesn't fit
This brilliant song was their idea, now I look like an idiot.
This really is embarrassing, I'm mortified, I want to flee
And everytime I sing a line, they sing it back annoyingly."

[ four soldiers from the general's army return to repeat the last two lines in song ]

Soldiers: [ singing ]
This really is embarrassing, he's mortified, he wants to flee
And everytime he sings a line, we sing it back annoyingly."

[ soldiers exit ]

David Hyde Pierce: [ singing slowly ]
"Hey, Kelsey, what I said before.. I wish that I could take it back
We've got a great show, Live is here --"


[ audience cheers ]

"-- so, stick around, we'll be right back."

[ four soldiers from the general's army return to repeat the last two lines in song ]

Soldiers: [ singing ]
"Kelsey, what he said before, he wishes he could take it back
We've got a great show, Live is here so, stick around, we'll be right back.
We've got a great show, Live is here so, stick around, we'll be right baaaaaaaaaack."
rialtus
Sep. 6th, 2007 11:43 pm (UTC)
I can just imagine this. Can't find it quickly on YouTube sadly.
rialtus
Sep. 6th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)
I have that from the Animaniacs CD. *queues it up on Sonos*
renaissancegeek
Sep. 6th, 2007 09:46 pm (UTC)
Heh.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )