A preacher is next in line behind the Cleveland Browns Player and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that Football Player a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a Football Player."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the Cleveland Browns played, people prayed."