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Just like me, you long to be...

There is basically no one here at my work location today, due to other meetings or personal work. This place is just super quiet, which I ususally like. Today, however, is a totally different story. I'm going to babble for a few minutes, and it's not going to be a warm, up-lifting story. I'll shutter it behind a cut tag, and please feel no obligation to read it. Won't hurt my feelings, and will be better for you. *feeble grin* The rest of the post, however, is much more ... normal?


I really feel alone sometimes. I look at the people in my life, and many of them are because of work. Obviously, present company is excluded, but we'll get to y'all in a minute. =) I have very few friends that didn't, in one way or another, come from my work or Jen's work. Hell, I met Jen because of a work relation -- I used to work at El Pollo Loco with her ex-husband. And it's not that this is a bad thing, mind you, but I guess I just want ... I dunno, something different.

Truly, the game show community, and my LiveJournal community as an extension of that, is one of the few non-work friend groups I have. And even then, I don't feel very close to any of you, really. I know there are lots of conversations and whatnot that occur via IM, some of which get put here. I can't stand IM. I really can't. I'm usually on my computer because I'm working on something or trying to finish something up. I rarely an just "online". So I view IM as an interuption of what I'm doing. I feel the same about cell phones (with a little bit added about loss of privacy, but that's another rant.). That's one of the reasons that I don't think I'm close with any of you.

The other is that I just don't communicate well in an electronic media. (Okay, stop laughing dammit!) I have a friend of mine whom I was very close with in high school. We lost touch, and have recently "found" each other again, thanks to the wonders of the Internet. She now lives in Virginia, and even though I know she is there, I don't talk to her. The same can be said about many of my friends until I got a LiveJournal. This has truly been the only time where I could be able to "talk" and tell people what I'm up to. I just can't seem to pick up a phone or write a letter to someone cold. Again, that's just part of my personality (a quirk if you will), and something that I'm concious of, but not enough to change.

I typically keep people at an arm's length anyway. Always have. Some of my best friends in the world in years past only know a small fraction of the inter torments that sometimes go through my mind. Frankly, I'm surprised I have spilled this much of my guts here already, and the fact that I want to continue shocks me to no end. I wonder sometimes if part of my self-imposed isolation is due to my father. When I was younger, my parents had a very close family couple that they'd share most every single waking minute with, it semed. The ended up moving to Seattle because of a job. A year later, we as a family drove up there in a motorhome to visit them. I don't remember much of the visit (apart from seeing Sale of the Century on a preview week they had in Seattle -- yes, I was a geek even then!), but I know that the visit didn't go well. A letter was sent down from WA upon our return which pissed my parents off, and they never talked to that family again. Actually, at that point, my dad pretty much became a hermit. No one came over, and they didn't go anywhere. Phone numbers were changed, and we weren't allowed to give out the new number. That was pretty much the environment that I grew up in as a kid and teen. Gee.... then I wonder why this may have influenced my adulthood?

The greatest joy I've had recently is when the neighbors got together for a game night of Taboo and Guesstures, and they invited Jen and I. Now, we've been there for almost two years, and while we knew everyone by name (finally), we didn't really know any of them. This was a very kind thought they had, and we had a blast.

I guess the other thing is that I have very few interests and talents. Most of my interests are related to either the television or the computer. That's the kind of thing which can quickly get you labelled a nerd and make you outcast. I'm thinking that I took to that with no problem, because I figured it was my lot in life. Now that I'm older, and still very much in that niche, I feel... wrong. But after 30 years of being this way (okay, less than that because of infancy. Picky picky picky...), this is going to be a difficult thing to chance.

Gosh, I just all that and a box of wet hair today, aren't I? *feeble grin*

--CUT--

In other news... I think I need a copy of Pictionary and Outburst for the next time the neighbors get together. I've played Pictionary twice before (no, I'm not counting the TV show in there either) and really enjoyed the heck out of it. Outburst looks to be equally as fun. Comments?

We paid the deposit today to get the reroof done. I was shocked at the price, and in a good way! Jen and I both figured it'd be in the low five digit range to get this done, especially since we had no clue how much anything like this costs. We're going to end up paying $5070 for this. Well, actually a bit more because we are going to replace all of the facia boards, but the reroof part is five grand. w00t!

If you are a user of Trend Micro's anti-virus products, you'll want to know that there is a new version of the scan engine available. Visit their site for more info.

Watch the A&E Biography of Bob Newhart, and now I really want to get some of those CDs.

Uhm... yeah, that's all I got. I need to go play with Visio for a while. See ya, dahrlings!

EDIT: Changed a hideous spelling error that wouldn't have even been made by a typical third grader. I'm so embarassed.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
calliaume
Jan. 10th, 2003 02:40 pm (UTC)
Pictionary is fun, although anyone who hasn't played and/or doesn't draw very well will inevitably be bad at it, so pick your spots. It took me a loooong time to get good at the game.

Outburst is great for groups, especially for people who don't like board games much. Game play is very short. Not great for kids, especially if you play an older edition. (For Rock Bands: "Backstreet Boys! 'N Sync!")
rialtus
Jan. 10th, 2003 02:46 pm (UTC)
...although anyone who hasn't played and/or doesn't draw very well will inevitably be bad at it...

Curt, have ya seen the horse that I drew while on national TV? Trust me, I'm all over not drawing well. =) Seriously though, thanks for the input. The neighbors range from about mid-30's to 50's, with Jen and I being the youngest. If the other gathering is any indication, the neighborhood kids are usually off playing on the PS2 or computer while the adults are doing their thing, so...
jumbach
Jan. 10th, 2003 02:53 pm (UTC)
My favorite party game is Balderdash, which I like MUCH better than Outburst. The basic object of the game is to make up a definition for a real genuine English word that you think people will buy as the real definition. The idea is NOT to guess what the word really means. Very fun, and very addictive. I must've played 30 games the first week I had it several years ago.
jumbach
Jan. 10th, 2003 02:56 pm (UTC)
VERY introspective. I had no idea! You always seem outgoing to me! But I guess only knowing you through a computer screen can make it seem that way. I was just like you all the way through school, and didn't really start to blossom until my senior year. Now, I'm fairly people-oriented, but like to withdraw on my own every now and then still.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )