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Where do I go from here?

I'm intentionally back dating this entry because I don't necessarily want people to know about it, but if you look you'll see it.

I haven't posted anything in this journal for nearly two weeks, and then only after posting a message to leave me alone. Aparently, everyone took me very strongly at my word because no one has asked what is wrong, if they can help ... actually, no one has done a damned thing -- you left me alone. And you know, I'm kinda bitter about that. I guess I deserve it, but it's still a tough pill to swallow because it feels like no one cares about me.

I have often felt like an outsider to many of these online communities, because I don't completely immerse myself with these groups. The Randy's Minions group had a fairly close knit core, but I think a lot of that was due to Randy's charisma and a strong use of email and instant messaging software. I happen to abhor IM more than I hate cell phones, which is quite a bit. So I had only part of the story, which kept me on the outside. The same is true of here on LiveJournal for many of you. So I weigh the options of being an outsider or using a technology that I can stand. I would rather be on the outside looking in, as it fits my conscience better, thank you.

But yet, it doesn't. Otherwise, I wouldn't go on these little excursions off line, possibly burning a few bridges along the way. I can't say that I have an answer to this. I guess I acknowledge it, hope that I have people who will understand, and move along...

I guess the other thing is that I do quite a bit of self-sensoring in my journal. There are thoughts that I want to share, but dont' because they might offend some people on my list. That stops now. This is my journal, and I will say what I want to. If you like it, fine. If you don't like it, fine. If I can disagree with you and get you thinking, great. If you disagree with me without any cognitive action, well, then there's a failure somewhere. "If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. And if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you." Words to live by, indeed.

I suspect that my journal will take a little bit of a different tone, at least for a short time. I guess that's where I go from here -- along a road by myself to some place that I don't know.